The Woes of Remarriage
by NobodyJinx
Summary: In which Tadao gains a mother, and nine older brothers all in one single marriage. All the while her friends become her life support during these trying times.


Kohi stopped what she was doing, forkful of fries now suspended in the air by her motionless hand.

"How many did you say?" Kohi asked faintly and Tadao shifted a little guiltily.

"Nine?" Tadao asked rather than replied and Miyuki and Misaki froze as well.

"They cute?" Touya asked blandly stealing Kohi's fries.

"What kinda question is that!" Tadao cried clutching her hair in despair as her friends gained control of their motor skills.

"C'mon you gotta spill now" Miyuki cajoled rubbing her foot all over her leg and Tadao recoiled moving her leg out of the way.

"Don't be stingy" Misaki added scooting closer to her and Touya resigned herself to her fate.

"Pretty cute I guess" Tadao mumbled taking a deliberately huge bite of her burger. Kohi made a sound of disgust her fries finally going into her mouth and Touya reached over this time for Miyuki's cheesy fries.

"Stop stealing!" Miyuki scolded slapping the thieving hands which had Touya hissing in pain and retreating.

"So mean Miyuchi" Touya whined but wisely stayed away instead stealing Misaki's shake and taking a drink.

"Don't call me that dumbass!" Miyuki snapped as Misaki began reaching over Tadao to grab her shake back.

"Do ya gotta pic so we can have proof?" Kohi spoke up ignoring the little slap fight that began over Tadao's head.

"Can't we talk about something else?" Tadao asked desperately ducking as Touya's hand came too close to her own face. "Watch it!"

"No way" Kohi and Miyuki intoned faces blank before they made the universal sign of 'gimmie gimmie'. Tadao sighed again but dutifully dug out her phone and opened it.

"Why do I even hang out with y'all" she groaned finding the picture easily and handing over her phone to the two.

"'Cause we're your only friends" Misaki answered surprisingly and Tadao's shoulders slumped.

"You're so mean" Touya announced to Misaki before she began patting Tadao's head assuringly. "Ya got a great personality so I'm sure ya got more friends than these assholes"

"Thanks Dad" Tadao replied smiling at the other girl who twitched at the name.

"No problem Tadachi" Touya replied with a smile that was all teeth.

"What the fuck" Kohi managed to get out her voice low. Tadao looked up at the other two in surprise as they finally spoke again.

"You're new brother are fucking hot Tada" Miyuki informed her with a grin that looked vaguely suggestive.

"Lemme see" Misaki demanded snatching the phone out of her sister's hand and going eyed wide. "Damn Tada you said 'pretty cute' but they're model status!"

"Oh" Tadao managed to get out as her phone was taken by Touya who whistled appreciatively.

"Do you know their names?" Touya asked still looking at the picture her father had sent her of her new siblings.

"Uh I'm pretty sure the one on the right is Toru or something like that" Tadao began uneasily silently berating herself for not having paid attention to her father's talks about the new family.

"Well he can penetrate whenever he wants" Touya cut in inappropriately and Tadao flushed in embarrassment for her eldest brother.

"Going from there is Mamoru, Hidetada, Takashi, Jun, Hajime, the twins Kazuhiko and Kazuhiro" Tadao stopped to take another bite of her almost cold burger and took a sip of her soda.

"They adopted or some shit? 'Cause they don't look a like" Kohi asked before Tadao could continue naming her new siblings.

"Ah yeah, Dad says that what's-her-face adopted some of the illegitimate children her husband had or some shit like that" Tadao explained easily as the other made sounds of surprise.

"How noble" Misaki and Miyuki stated together pulling what Touya called 'the freaky twin shit'.

"Means Tadachi can bone 'em with it being incest" Touya stated with a suggestive grin that had Tadao blushing hotly.

"Nah Tada wouldn't do that she's probably already thinking of them as brothers" Kohi cut in and Tadao gave her a small nod of confirmation. "See? Tada's too fucking pure for that shit"

"Means we get to bone them instead yeah?" Miyuki asked jokingly and they glanced at each other before laughing.

"Sister-in-law Tadachi" Touya guffawed holding onto the table as if to stay on the seat.

"Father-in-law Han!" Misaki sputtered tears of mirth beginning to form in her eyes.

"Can't e-even" Kohi gasped leaning on Miyuki who was laughing soundlessly.

"'Nyways after 'Hiro is Ryoichi and I think that's the last of them" Tadao finished with a sigh as she sagged down in the booth.

"Do you know who's the eldest?" Kohi asked curiously and Tadao closed her eyes in thought.

"I think that's Toru, I mean I could be wrong" Tadao replied with a shrug before she straightened up again.

"Yknow at first I was jealous of Tadachi for having so many hot brothers but having to remember so many names tires me out" Touya confessed with a smile and Tadao returned it with a helpless shrug.

"Fate has made it so" Misaki declared throwing an arm around Tadao's shoulders and bringing her into a hug.

"So yer the baby eh Tada?" Miyuki asked with a grin and Tadao made a face snuggling into the other twin.

"I-yeah Dad said Toru was like twenty six or twenty five then Mamoru and Hidetada are like twenty three or something like that" Tadao began slowly trying to remember.

"So Nanami-san musta had Toru pretty young yeah?" Kohi asked tapping a finger to her lip in thought.

"Ah yeah?" Tadao answered with a one shouldered shrug.

"She's like what? Thirty five or something?" Miyuki asked and Touya shrugged as well before joining Misaki and Tadao in the hug.

"Who gives a shit" Touya answered snuggling into Tadao and Kohi gave a short laugh.

"Dad's right who gives a shit" Kohi stated watching the trio with amusement.

"Continue Tada" Misaki wheedled and her friends gave noises of agreements.

"So um, Takashi's twenty one or nineteen, Jun and Hajime are for sure nineteen. 'Hiko and 'Hiro are eighteen-ish and Ryoichi is seventeen though he's like nine months older than me"

"I can barely stand having two siblings and you've got nine right off the bat Tada. I feel bad for you I really do" Kohi stated but the way her eyes gleamed behind her glasses said another story.

"It's only us two and sometimes we can't handle ourselves. Your life was fated for such a tragic end" Misaki told her jokingly and Miyuki nodded in agreement.

"You guys are scaring poor Tadachi" Touya scolded patting her head again.

"I really am getting worried what if they're mean? What if they hate me?" Tadao asked getting slightly panicked at the thought of her brothers hating her guys already.

"Chill Tada" Kohi soothed reaching over the table to grab her hand. "I'm sure they don't hate you"

"What if they resent the fact that Dad married their Mom?" Tadao gasped jumping to conclusions quickly and her friends shared looks of exasperation over her head.

"If they do you tell us an' we'll set those hot bastards straight" Touya grumbled petting her head comfortingly.

"What if" Tadao's voice dropped down to a low whisper "They're furries?"

The table lost it. Howling with laughter as they banged the table as if hitting it would help them calm down. Miyuki who had been drinking soda made an effort to not spit her drink out which resulted it in trickling down her front. This of course sent them into louder hysterics.

 _At least now Tadao wasn't worrying over nothing._


End file.
